yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
