all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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