You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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