dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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