ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
