I'm gonna have a badass scar
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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