he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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