first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
