this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
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How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
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I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
i think i just lost a toe
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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