she was so not down for the gang bang
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
