whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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