He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
