now i know why i became what i already was.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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