I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
