Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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