can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
