By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Houston, we have a blender
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
