Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So much rum. So many feels.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
