3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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