I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
