people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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