Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
im having a threesome with these popsicles
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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