Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I am one with the molecules
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
