When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Rumble strips road head = magical
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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