are you still at the devil's house?
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just cut my nipple shaving
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
