Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
