Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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