have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
