I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
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imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
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So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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