Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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