Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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