if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
