How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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