as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
