Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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