I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
