Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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