PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
i think i just lost a toe
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
