I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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