That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
