All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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