Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
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