I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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