are you still at the devil's house?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
