awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
