stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
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She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
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Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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