Rock
Scissors
Fuck
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
did i just pee glitter
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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