It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
