The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my gift to your gina
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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