it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
