DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
