vagina is talking i cant
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
