I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize