the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
