so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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