yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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