i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize