She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
they need to just BURY HIM!
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
