Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
