just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
it glows. i had to have it.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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