I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
