The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Shame - the story of my life.
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