there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I didn't shave. On purpose
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
