She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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