I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
