Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
