shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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