Kareoke will never be a sober sport
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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