So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
